Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
oh god the rape fog is back!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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