The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
