i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Bring me that man meat
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
