found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
home. puking in laundry basket.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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