sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
