Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
