Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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