Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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