I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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