yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
wanna go halves on a baby?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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