did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
