Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
