I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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