garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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