ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize