In the future we'll all be gay
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
