Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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