god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
