Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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