So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
