Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
