Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
