We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize