STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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