Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
