Plan B is the new Plan A
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
