1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize