alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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