i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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