I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
