i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
