Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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