maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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