At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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