i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
