You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We have started to decorate penises.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize