You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
