Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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