I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
