Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
