Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
