why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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