I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
