You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
