Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
