ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
