words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
