textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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