That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
