bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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