her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
