Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
