Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
