Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
