Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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