ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
