i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
