my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
