So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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