yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
